Brexit: The Last Performance

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

 

DAVEY DAVEY: The only role they could find for him was as a strange sort of stalking-horse for Fat Bore-us, if a tired old nag that bolts at midnight can be thought of as a stalking-horse. What a dick. He was going to change his stage name to 'Dick Dick' but has been told not to bother because he won't be appearing anywhere again.

 

GOVE-PUPPET:  Not much talent on display here. The scene in which he assassinates Fat Bore-us is typical of the unconvincing twists in the clumsy plot.

 

FAT BORE-US: Undecided whether to play a buffoon or villain, he wrote his own part as a villainous buffoon. It's simply not convincing that anyone could be so disloyal to his leader, his party or his country at such a crucial time. Equally hard to believe is that anyone could be solely motivated by personal vanity and ambition. LATE NEWS: Incredibly, at this late stage, he is trying to convince others to add a final scene he is now hurriedly writing. In this, the ghost of Bore-us would rise from the dead and grasp the battered crown. He is being counselled against such ridiculous action. It would turn a fourth-rate comedy into a fifth-rate horror story.

 

THE MAYGULL: She plays a convincing part as a battered old bird flapping gamely on to a dangerous land called Brexit, pursued by a flock of angry, self-seeking crows. Will she reach it? She probably won’t even make it to the rocky shores of No Deal.

 

SUPPORTING CAST: This consists of numerous bemused politicians, who run around aimlessly. Some, like Jacob Rees-Mogg, have a genuine comic talent, but this tired old script doesn't make goodof it.

 

 

PLOT

This has countless flaws. Its many twists and turns simply don't ring true. The whole script has been sloppily put together as a poor sequel to cash in on the very brief popularity of the daring original Decameron Gambles With Our Futures.

 

PUBLIC REACTION

 

 

This farce has received a poor public reaction. People were much more interested in the rival comedy: 'Bore-us Gets Trapped in a Letter-Box'. This hastily thrown together sequel to 'Decameron Gambles with Our Futures' is set for a very short run.